love · peace

It was just a cup of tea, but it was so much more than a cup of tea.

Some days on this journey are harder than others. Some days, dear readers, all I want to do is break down and cry. And on other days, I’m unreachable, flying so high that nothing can bring me down.

I’m here today to tell you about the sweetest, yet most emotional moment of my recent life.┬áNothing philosophical. Just a snapshot of my life and times.

After being on antidepressants for about two weeks, I had already hit quite the spectrum of highs and lows. I had cried over nothing, I had laughed over nothing. I had sat and stared blankly at nothing for hours, and I had been more productive in one hour than I had in days previous.

On the day in question, dear readers, I was having one of the days where I cried over nothing. I had been feeling particularly lost and empty that day. I don’t know if there was a cause. I don’t know what led up to it. I do know, though, what happened during and after the event.

At some point that day, my wonderful boyfriend came over to visit me. He noticed that I was out of sorts and asked about it. He knows me way too well, despite my initial walls, and although I told him not to worry he still did. Of course he did. That’s just him.

As soon as I said anything, the dam burst. I didn’t even know what to say, and I just started crying. The silent type, you know. Big, fat, angry tears rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to drop through the floor. I hated for anyone to see me like this, and it just made me feel self-conscious. What he did next though completely surprised me. He silently left the room.

I could hear him clunking around in the kitchen, though I had absolutely no idea what he was doing, and quite frankly didn’t care. I just wanted to lie in my warm comfortable bed and keep crying. A few minutes later, however, I was interrupted by a small nudge. I didn’t want to deal with it at the moment, but I rolled over and look at him.

Dear readers, this moment was one of the most surprising moments of my life, as well as one of the sweetest. In his hands, held out like the smallest of peace offerings, was a cup of tea. Steaming, fresh brewed, loose leaf tea. I looked up at him, and his face was so full of pure, innocent caring that my heart almost hurt. Here was a human being who cared for me so much that he googled how to brew loose leaf tea for me, because he knew that it would calm me down.

I don’t know what I ever have done to deserve such a pure, wonderful human being, dear readers, but I can tell you that I will absolutely do everything in my power to keep him. It was such a simple gesture, but in that one small gesture he showed me the world.