Hey there, beautiful readers. Today I wanted to talk about emotions. And especially emotions when going through something like depression and trying to regulate and get better. Are they even real?
Some days, I feel nothing at all. It’s as if I’m an empty shell of a person, just moving around like a puppet. Other days, I can go through every emotion I know in the matter of minutes. But no matter the emotional day, I always find myself asking one key question… Are they mine?
Before I started on an antidepressant, I basically never felt anything. So now that I experience such a broad range of emotions on a constant basis, it can be confusing.
I often find that when I am particularly happy or content, I ask myself if it’s actually me being happy and content, or if its just a surge of something from the medicine. If I stopped taking the medicine, would I still have these emotions? And why are there so many of them? Is that actually what I’m feeling, or is that the emotional side affects that can be present while taking that medicine?
Dear readers, as you can probably imagine, such an unstable idea of what’s really going on can be immensely stressful. And at times, I can be very overwhelmed. But I think that even if all of the newfound emotion I have within me is a direct affect of the medication, I can live with that, because for the first time in a long time, I feel more human.
Next time you have an emotional moment, remember this; even if it’s bad, at least it’s there.